Look at that thick neck and swollen aspect I had just four years ago... I look upon that bloated figure and think to myself, "Why?"
It wasn't a lack of education. I had sound instruction from a knowledgeable teacher, who happened to be an amateur bodybuilder, coach, fitness and math teacher. A swell guy that really tried to impress the importance of responsible decisions in life. I took his instruction and went from 175 lbs to 210 lbs in just six months. I received an award in lifting class for 'Most Improved' that year - my Junior year of high school. The next year I played football and added another 10 pounds of muscle.
Heading into college, I was a trim and muscular young man - who loved to eat. The cafeteria at my dormitory was a wonderful, glorious sight. So were the late night pizzas and chips and cheese. Most people dread the "freshman fifteen", but in my typical over-zealous nature - I packed on thirty pounds.... and another fifteen the next year and then more after my high school girlfriend broke up with me. By the time I was in my fourth and fifth years of college I was up to 320 lbs. Roughly 100 pounds more than when I graduated from high school.
My buddies and I used to joke about my weight gain and my deep red stretch marks. I earned the nickname "the Tummy", I used to dress silly to make light of the fact that I was hurting inside. Around 2000 to 2001 I was in a deep depression. I flunked a few classes and ended up losing my financial aid. I tried to hang in there, but ended up dropping out of university - only a few credits shy of matriculating. I'm not trying to blame my failures on my weight, but I cannot deny that it played a significant role in what happened.
Over time, I embraced the Tummy moniker and now use it as my avatar/name on almost all of my on-line activity. I cannot let go of those memories and the impact it had on my life.
In 2007, we had our first child. Nothing can prepare you for the gravity of having a kid. The realization that this tiny being will be dependent on you for at least the next eighteen years. It was my wake up call to the fact that I might not live to see her get married or have children of her own. It was time for a change, for a lifestyle change.
Diets are fleeting. They are tough to maintain and there are always excuses for cheating and for failure. I have transformed myself into a healthy man. Still a little over-weight, but I look good in a suit and still draw the eyes of women. I feel proud that I took control of my life and that I make the call whether or not to indulge on ice cream or have a second serving of steak. It took me fifteen years to realize that I had the power over food, and not the other way around.
I cannot expect to have a chiseled body that men dream of having, but I can dream. That dream keeps driving me to live a healthy lifestyle. My living a healthy lifestyle teaches my children that good, clean food is important and that exercise is also important.
So I can't really look at that photo from four years ago and loath myself. I look upon it as a reminder of where I've been and what I've accomplished.
What is your story?